


memoriam amoris

by profdanglais



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Angsty Poetry, CS Role Reversal, F/M, I cried four times while writing this, Poetry, Sad Poetry, Valentine's Role Reversal, also Galentine's Day, and this is for you, yes I did say poetry, you know who you are
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:14:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22694623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/profdanglais/pseuds/profdanglais
Summary: It’s the little things that he remembersThe sunlight on her skin and in her hairThat hair sex-mussed, her smile glowingHer scent in his nose, her laugh, her silencesdeeper than wordsKillian remembers his and Emma's love story at the most difficult time of his life... and possibly the end of hers.Written for the CS Valentine's Role Reversal, as a companion piece to @hollyeleigh's gorgeous picset.
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Comments: 21
Kudos: 75





	memoriam amoris

* * *

* * *

It’s the little things that he remembers

The sunlight on her skin and in her hair

That hair sex-mussed, her smile glowing

Her scent in his nose, her laugh, her silences

deeper than words

It’s the bigger things he can’t forget

First date on the beach, first kiss in the twilight

Wedding in the sun, first dance in the firelight

Honeymoon on the sea, they two and the waves and

sky and sunsets

It was the moonlight on her skin, aglow above him

Head thrown back, sweat-slicked and sighing

His love more than he can bear, less than she deserves

Her name on a gasp and his on a moan as

they came together

It was the years of love and life and partnership

Fights that they could have with no one else

Makeup sex and stress of jobs and sacrifices

Kisses high on mountaintops, a tiny girl with his

hair and her eyes

It was the day she couldn’t climb the mountain

Her gasping breaths, her hand pressed to her chest

Her face dead pale, swaying, stumbling

Collapsing on the trail, the baby’s sobs and how

his heart stopped

It was the sirens’ blare, harsh glare of lights

The doctors’ words, too long, all jumbled sounds

And then _experimental_ , _only chance_ , and _not much hope_

Their faces stark in pity and the tears that

drench his cheeks

It was papers that he signed, consent to try

To bring her back or see her gone forever

Her brow too cool beneath his fingers and his lips

His aching dread, their daughter’s wail as she

was wheeled away

It’s things he fears he’ll never see again

The baby in her arms, them both asleep in his

Her nose scrunched up in laughter, angry tears

That sly look as she tucks her icy toes between his thighs

to warm them

It’s things that she may never see at all

School plays and graduations, sports and birthdays

Public tantrums, sulks, and nighttime cuddles

Wedding anniversaries and the grey she always wanted

in his hair

And now it’s night, coal black and endless

And faded roses there beside her bed

Hearts drawn from petals and _five hours, sir, by then we’ll know_

He grips her hand and begs her _please_ _Swan, please_

_don’t leave me_

It’s five hours gone, he hears the doctors coming

And it’s the miracle that didn’t come

It’s sobs that wrack his chest, despair that tears at it

Her hand so cold in his and how he doesn’t know a way to

live without her

Then…

It’s a twitch of fingers, eyelids fluttering

Beeps of instruments and doctors turned to stare

His breath stalled in his throat, the hope that nearly chokes him

It’s green eyes opening and warming skin, and it’s a single

hoarsely whispered word.

_Killian._


End file.
